The resume said: 'Looking for urgent work.' The boss asked: 'Why so urgent?'
— 'Because in a month I won't be looking, I'll be doing well standing.'
The resume said: "I'm looking for a job urgently." The boss asked: "Why so urgent?"
— "Because in a month, I won't be looking, I'll be doing well standing."
What's the difference between an employee and a dead person?
— The dead person is buried, but the employee is still on the payroll.
The résumé said: "Urgently seeking work." The boss asked: "Why so urgent?"
— "Because in a month I'm no longer looking—I'll be happily standing around doing nothing."
What's the most stressful job in the world?
— The one where you have to notify people they've won the lottery. What if they have a heart attack?
Why do bosses never look out the window in the morning?
— Because otherwise they'd have to work in the afternoon.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
— Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
A lady at the market: "How much is that fish?" Fishmonger: "Three euros, ma'am." "What a rip-off. You can find them for free in the water."
— "Yes, ma'am, but in the water you have to catch it."
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
— Only one, but he has to come four times because he has visitors.