A drunkard sees double. The doctor says: 'Take these pills, one every twelve hours.'
— 'Which one?'
A drunk man calls 112: "My wallet's been stolen!"\n"Where are you?"
— "Right here, I haven't moved."
A drunk man asks his friend, "What time is it?" The friend replies, "Twelve." The drunk man says:
— "What a long day. I've been here since eight and it's already twelve."
The doctor to the drunk: 'You have to stop drinking.'
— The drunk: 'Can I at least finish it?'
A drunk man is looking at his reflection in a puddle and says:
— "That guy looks familiar, but I don't know why he's so down."
A drunk asks his friend: "What time is it?" The friend responds: "Twelve." The drunk says:
— "What a long day. I've been here since eight and it's already twelve."
A drunk man arrives home and tells his wife: "I won 500 euros at the casino." The wife asks: "How?" He responds:
— "At first I bet 1,000 and lost them, but I found 500 in my pocket that I didn't know I had."
A drunk man calls his boss: "Boss, I won't be able to go to work today, I'm sick". "Sick with what?". "Monday."
— "Alright, take care."
A drunk man calls his boss: 'Boss, I won't be able to come to work today, I'm sick.' 'Sick with what?' 'Monday.'
— 'Alright, take care.'