Which animal is the oldest?
— The crocodile, because it survived since prehistoric times. Though the parrot also has its years.
What’s the ultimate irony for a mathematician?
— That his problems have no solution.
What does a cow do with a map?
— She goes grazing wherever she wants.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
— One, but the bulb has to want to change.
What does one roof say to another roof?
— Nothing, roofs don’t talk. But if they did, they’d say "roof" a lot.
Why do birds fly south in winter?
— Because walking would take too long.
Two people walk into a bar. The third one dodges him.
— He had learned from the previous one.
My cat is very smart.
— He hasn't worked in three years, and I still keep feeding him.
What do you call a vampire's notebook?
— Dracula's blog.
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?
— Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
What is the worst thing that can happen to a mathematician?
— That their problems have no solution.
A man walks toward a bar... and dodges it.
— He was an athlete.
A man walks towards a bar... and dodges it.
— He was an athlete.
Why can't skeletons lie?
— Because they don't have the guts.
What's the oldest animal?
— The crocodile, because it survived since prehistoric times. Although the parrot also has its years.
My cat is very intelligent.
— It's been three years since he last worked and I still feed him.
What do you call a vampire's notebook?
— Dracula's blog.
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?
— Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
What does the zero say to the eight?
— Nice belt!