Football jokes
Fans from rival teams… football humour that unites and divides in equal measure.
And what about Barcelona?
— None either – they just wait for Madrid to replace last year's trophy and take it away.
What do the Spanish national team and a taxi have in common?
— They both have a driver.
A referee goes to the doctor. "What's wrong?" "Doctor, everyone hates me."
— "So what? That's not a disease."
What did the ball say to the goalkeeper?
— Pass me, I'm in the corner and I need to get in!
Why doesn't Real Madrid have a website?
— Because they can't string three clicks together without failing.
How many Real Madrid fans does it take to change a light bulb?
— None, they wait for God to do it.
What's the ultimate irony for a striker?
— That their goalkeeper scores more goals than them.
A kid asks his football-obsessed father: "Dad, what's harder—winning the Champions League or passing math?"
— The father replies: "Ask Cristiano Ronaldo."
Why doesn't Real Madrid have a website?
— Because they can't string three clicks together without failing.
What's the worst thing that can happen to a soccer player?
— His wife cheats on him and he can't head them off.