Doctor jokes

— Doctor, my son swallowed a pen. What should I do?

— — Come as quickly as possible... I'll use the pencil in the meantime.

— Doctor, I snore so loudly that I wake myself up.

— — Try sleeping in another room.

— Doctor, I have the feeling that nobody listens to me.

— — Next patient!

— Doctor, it hurts when I lift my arm like this.

— — Then don't lift it like that.

Doctor to patient: "You lead a very sedentary life."

— "Yes, the sofa and I are inseparable."

Patient: "Doctor, my stomach hurts in the mornings."

— "What do you have for breakfast?" "A bowl of ice cream." "Every day?" "Also every day."

Doctor: "You need to exercise regularly."

— "Doctor, I sweat just thinking about it."

Patient: "Doctor, my nose is stuffed, my ears are plugged, and my throat is irritated."

— "Have you tried stopping complaining?"

Patient: "Doctor, ever since I started taking the pills, I feel invisible."

— "Next, please."