Chistes de gallegos

They find a Galician in the kitchen staring at a glass of juice. The label says "concentrate".

— And he's been staring at it for two hours.

A Galician sees another in the middle of a field with a stick looking at the ground.

— He asks, "What are you doing?" "Looking for a four‑leaf clover." "And the stick?" "So it doesn't run away."

A Galician goes to buy pants and asks the salesman: "Do you have large sizes?"

— The salesman: "Yes, for you?" The Galician: "No, for my brother, I don't wear pants."

Do you know how long it takes a Galician to change a lightbulb?

— — How long? — Why do you ask?

They ask a Galician: "Which do you prefer: ignorance or indifference?"

— The Galician replies: "I don't know, and I don't care."

A Galician man has been staring at a glass of orange juice for three hours.

— His wife asks him, "Why are you taking so long?" "It says concentrated."

In a survey, a Galician is asked: "Do you prefer soccer or basketball?"

— "It depends on how the TV is doing."

A Galician walks into a computer store and says: "I want a very powerful computer."

— "What do you need it for?" "To see if what my mother-in-law says makes sense."

In a competition among Galicians, the last one to finish wins.

— They've been waiting four years for someone to finish.

A Galician calls a company and asks: "Are you the smartest person in the company?"

— "No, the director isn't here."

Why do people from Galicia put their name on their shoes?

— So they know which one goes on each foot.

In a Galician competition, the one who finishes last wins.

— They've been waiting four years for someone to finish.

A Galician falls into the river and a friend throws him a life jacket.

— "Grab it." "What's the point, if I don't know how to swim?"

A Galician has been staring at a glass of orange juice for three hours.

— His wife asks him, "Why are you taking so long?" "It says concentrated."

In a survey, a Galician is asked: "Do you prefer soccer or basketball?"

— "It depends on how the TV is doing."

In a competition for people from Galicia, the one who finishes last wins.

— They've been waiting four years for someone to finish.

A Galician falls into the river and a friend throws him a life ring.

— "Grab it." "What for, if I don't know how to swim?"

A Galician walks into a computer store and says: "I want a very powerful computer."

— "What do you need it for?" "To see if what my mother-in-law says makes sense."

How does a Galician know he's found the center of the Earth?

— When his feet start burning.

¿Cómo sabe un gallego que ha encontrado el centro de la Tierra?

— Cuando los pies le empiezan a arder.

Un gallego va al médico. "Doctor, me pica la cabeza." "¿Desde cuándo?" "Desde que era niño." "¿Y nunca se ha rascado?" "Es que no llego."

—

Un gallego entra a una tienda de informática y dice: "Quiero un ordenador muy potente."

— "¿Para qué lo quiere?" "Para ver si lo que dice mi suegra tiene sentido."

Un gallego llama a un hotel: "¿Tienen habitaciones con vistas al mar?" "Sí." "¿Con ducha?" "Sí." "¿Con desayuno?" "Sí." "¿A qué hora?" "De 8 a 10." "Pues no voy, que duermo hasta las 11."

—

En una encuesta le preguntan a un gallego: "¿Prefiere el fútbol o el baloncesto?"

— "Depende de cómo esté la televisión."

¿Por qué los gallegos no hacen alpinismo?

— Porque cuando llegan a la cima ya bajaron.

Un gallego lleva tres horas mirando un vaso de zumo de naranja.

— Le pregunta su mujer: "¿Por qué tardas tanto?" "Es que pone concentrado."

Un gallego se cae al río y un amigo le tira un salvavidas.

— "Agárralo." "¿Para qué, si no sé nadar?"

En una competición de gallegos el que acabe último gana.

— Llevan cuatro años esperando que alguien acabe.

¿Cómo llamas a un gallego que habla tres idiomas?

— Trilingüe. ¿Y a uno que habla dos? Bilingüe. ¿Y a uno que no habla ninguno? Gallego.

Le preguntan a un gallego: "¿Qué prefieres: la ignorancia o la indiferencia?"

— El gallego responde: "No lo sé y me da igual."